Monday, August 3, 2009

U of C signs Memorandum of Understanding

On July 28th the U of C Vice Provost (International) Carol Stewart and Secretary of State Jialsco Mexico Fernando Antonio Guzman Perez Palaez (2 legit 2 quit) signed a memorandum of understanding between the U of C and the Mexican ministry of education.

Effective immediatley the U of C becomes helpfully committed to the education, research, and technological development of Mexico. Providing educational aide as needed to the Jialscon people, much like a national tutor.

"Education is without a doubt, the basis for development of any nation” said Mr. Fernando Mexican. “In a globalized world, English has become the universal language by necessity. The signing of this Memorandum, which will promote deeper linkages, is very fitting as we mark ten years of cooperation". Unfortunatley since the 10 years of cooperation Mexico has become even stupider through the tutelage of the pristine scholarly learning of Calgary (bullshit sentence = obviously U of C). In fact the state of Jialsco is hovering around F's in most gradeable categories including education, happiness, and wealth. Whereas before the tutoring from the U of C, Jialsco was one of the richest Mexican states and had the highest education rate in the country. Yeah but Gondi, where did you get all these factoids and figures? Wikipedia. That's how we roll at the U of C. Fast and Furious. So What went wrong with Jialsco?

Unfortunatley with continual plummetting GPA's and lower standards of education the University of Calgary has emboldened the metaphor by becoming "that stupid ass tutor who doesn't know shit". You know, the kind of tutor that is supposed to be teaching you chemistry but ends up just talking about how cool he was in junior high or how all this first year chemistry is cake and he wished he could have all this easy stuff in his masters courses. Yeah that asshole. That's the U of C now, and that poor tutee, that's a Jialsco Mexico, he's the kid who on his chem final wrote, "1 of the periodic tables" and "9 killojeters of acid = many taco". Poor Jialsco. They need to withdraw before its too late and that F becomes a permanent mark on their track record.


Anonymous said...

I am so glad you guys started to make stories again. <3

Anonymous said...

lol, i had to leave a comment. I use wikipedia all the time for school lol.

Curtis said...

more stories!

Anonymous said...

more like "memo of misunderstanding!"