Sunday, October 4, 2009

U of C Twitter Highlights: Week 4

Here are the 5 best U of C related tweets we found this week.
5. Bible thumper!
4. ZOINKS it's a G-g-g-g-g-GHOST!

3. Library = Nightmare

2. The SU prez quotes Dalai Lama

1. Five dollar. Five. Dollar. Five dollar FOOT WRONG.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Gossip Girl 2

Hey Upper Universitiers, theres nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a a surprise, and we hear H.W. got a two for one special. The IRS and one of the old guys from the TD bank commercials... Audit brunch buddies!

I got this hot pepper from the grapevine, and its packing quite a grape punch. "Spotted UofC skiclub having orgy with UofA skiclub, mostly dudes, but some chicks (including penguins)" Thanks for that little jem Mel T. Sure enough on the UofC Skiclub's facebook page. Bad news for Spanky the Penguin as she's reportedly preggers. I wonder if the father is one of these gangbangers?

Looks like a little kitty kat is upset in wonderland. Seems she doesn't like GG talking about her relationship with OP the Zombie. You can block this sly dog from your facebook, K.L. but you can't keep the whole pack away from all those juicy meaty scraps. Who am I you ask? I'll never tell. Gossip Girl XOXOXOXO.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Stalin writes during the Hills IIII

Dear Brother,

I know exactly how Audrina feels-- for I too have had a similar prob where a bitch came back and ruined my genius plans. Hmmph, Life was so much simpler with gulags.

Yours Truly,

Joseph Stalin

Sunday, September 27, 2009


U of C Twitter Highlights: Week 3

Here are the 5 best U of C related tweets we found this week.
5. Uncanadian!

4. Does the UofC server swallow?

3. Tons of Prolife tweets this week but this was the best. Coathangers @ Pro-lifers? ROFL

2. Smoker revolutionizes bumming 4 smokes

1. A heartfelt open letter

Thursday, September 24, 2009

U of C invents new Water Cycle

Stalin writes about Pro-Lifers

Dear Brother,

Today I saw some caged animals at the student commune-- I tried to feed them some peanuts but they threw their fecal matter brochures at me. Damn dirty apes!


Joseph Stalin


(Click to Enlarge!)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

U of C Twitter Highlights: Week 2

Here are the 5 best U of C related tweets we found this week.
5. Best Workout ever

4. What can you do with your U of C degree? Be a Mom!


2. Reporter can't handle Gontlit party.

1. The UofC must have a kickass Starcraft team

Friday, September 18, 2009

The Gauntlet sucks: Week 1

Every week we're going to look at what the Gauntlet calls journalism and totally bash them. I hope you'll enjoy this as much as we don't enjoy the Gauntlet.

We're the type of journalistic news source that wears sunglasses and smoke cigarettes thus making us bad ass. We're expected to be bad ass. We've been told some of our articles are malicious (by Kat Lord LOL!) and tasteless but even we wouldn't stoop so far as to make fun of the recently succumbed to cancer no less, Patrick Swayze. Publishing that article just days after the greatest of all Dirty Dancers died is just tacky. Too soon guys, too soon.

This is how a classy paper does it,
Yo Patrick, you was the best.

goodnight sweet prince.

Next on the Gauntlet bashing fest... Gossip Girl is ruining the world? BITCH PLEASE. Gossip Girl is this generations voice. Without this fine cultural masterpiece we would all be lost and global warming would no doubt be an even worse situation because if people weren't watching Gossip Girl they would be outside producing dangerous emissions to the environment. If anything Gossip Girl is saving the world. Gossip Girl is also a much better puiblication than the Gauntlet.

Shitty Comics much? It's hilarious that the Gontlit has been able to work out a deal with Travis Dandro to publish his great works in fact we managed to post 2 of his works so far this week, while the Gauntlet? They decided to take a shit on their comics page and publish Horsedog and co instead of a beloved Mr Gnu? How stupid is that.

The Gauntlet sucks balls.