Pro-lifers sentenced to death

The trial of the "three pro-lifers" took an odd turn of events at the Calgary courts yesterday, as Judge Bud Hefston read the Jury's unanimous decision to a room full of University activists, media and family of the three women. What was thought to be purely a case of trespassing turned into something much worse thanks to the University's high profile lawyer McFarror (as seen on TV) and his circus of surprise witnesses that helped incriminate the pro-lifers. The new lawyers fresh from the bar at Calgary Law were not match for McFarror's quick wit and ability to connect with the jury, there was one point in the trial where after Isabelle Moran's cross examination that McFarror stood up from his bench, and in a subtle dead pan delivery said, "Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's meybellene" which had the entire jury in stitches, even Judge Hefston could be seen slamming his gavel frantically on his bench as he tried to catch his breath. But this was not fun and games, the entire crowd gasped in when Judge Hefston read the decision, "The Court finds the women of the Pro-life poster massacre on the charges of trespassing... guilty and to be sentenced by death".

The posters that caused this fiasco were graphic images that spoke out against genocide, and as McFarror attorney at law said, the ruling was sweet irony. "What a great victory for the non-political apathetic students of the University, no longer will they have to avoid certain locations in fear of seeing a vagina crime scene, this will go down in history as a day of justice". Students all around campus are in mourning, First year Philosophy student Graham Horton said it best when he accidentally spilled some of his Miller Lite on the campus pavement, "What a tragedy".