Stalin writes during the Hills IIII

Dear Brother,

I know exactly how Audrina feels-- for I too have had a similar prob where a bitch came back and ruined my genius plans. Hmmph, Life was so much simpler with gulags.

Yours Truly,

Joseph Stalin

Stalin writes during The Hills III

Dear brother,
Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and whom it is aimed. In the hands of the Capitalist pigs it is like a golden gun. The only thing that can stop its bullets is the body armor that is breast augmentation. I refer of course to the big boob dumb brod principle.

P.S.
Heidi is a submental.

Yours truly,
Joseph Stalin

Stalin writes during The Hills II

Dear brother,
While I watch the drama unfold, I cannot help but think that Stacie is a metaphor for America during the recession. They are both just begging me to spread my commy seed all over their boobs.

Yours truly,
Joseph Stalin

Stalin writes during Hills Season 5 Premiere

Dear Brother,
Spencer is such a jerkface. But his jedi mindcontrol powers are impressive. Do you think he ever said to Luke Skywalker "Bring that weak ass shit"? I bet he did.

Yours truly,
Joseph Stalin