BSD Update and Squirrel people

The weather is getting gross, but we are still having a great time here at BSD 09. We just interviewed DJ Rob Faust, what a cool dude. You can tell that this guy is a professional, when we started asking questions he told us to fuck off. What a guy. We are currently trying to find the drunkest girl out of all the drunkest girls for a Q&A of hilarious proportions but it is very hard to maneuver through the crowded parking lot, we noticed that a lot of people are taking the party outside of the party zone which is pretty cool, we might try and visit with them but a lot of people seem to just want to chill with their own group of friends. If anyone is reading this on campus, we're going to be rap battling drunk people at the beer gardens soon. Hope to see you there.

Shout out to Ross H, who bought all of us beers (and sprites) after realizing that we were Gontlit, his "favourite news source".

Reporting live from Brunch

Quite a few of the contributors at the Gontlit, like Stalin, Megan, and myself have been working alongside The Uni Detectives as they film their epic BSD video. There is some great footage so far and while I am not sure how they'll end up using it we know it will be good. Hell, we were all just laughing our face off at some footage we like to call, Stalin challenging drunk girls to rap battles at 10 AM.

We're chillin' hard at Denny's right now, enjoying a SUPER SLAM BREAKFAST. We're planning to head back soon, but before we do here is todays most played song eva...



See you at BSD, and please if you see us, keep it on the down low, we allready got questioned by some "yellow vest mother fuck".

Rainbow Castro says

"I hope it doesn't snow on BSD... I'm really looking forward to this year's pavement. I hope Stalin nationalizes the weather system so that it is always sunny. I'm too old for this."

Fidel "The Original" Castro

Reporters needed for extensive BSD coverage

What has 13 legs, a blood alcohol level of 7 and no panties? These chicks.

As most of you hosers know, this friday is the annual University of Calgary Bermuda Shorts Day spectactular. As part of our mission to bring you the most balla news ever, we've decided to be the only news team offering extensive coverage on the days festivities. And in order to cover the mass drunkeness, the tower rushes, and the full frontal embarassment we're going to need reporters. The University Detectives will be on the scene video recording all the madness, but we could sure use some more help! If you'd like to help, or if you'd like to just send us your favourite BSD stories eva, send us an email at Thegontlit@live.ca.

Stalin writes

Dear brother,

I am hasing sex wit ur wife and taking her to BSD.

Hope things are well in Siberia.

Yours truly,

Joseph Stalin

Children Cranky Over BSD Decision

Just days after the news broke regarding the new location for the Bermuda

Shorts day a group of cranky children from the University Child Care Center petitioned the University to re-evaluate the proposed "grass by the C-Train option".

This location was said to be too disruptive for the young children of faculty, students, and staff of the University. However many people are questioning the source of these allegations. "I call bullshit" says 4 year old pre-schooler Josh Gobbin. "I like to watch mommy get drunk and do her Spongebob impersonations, they are really really funny".

"The University isn't taking into account the best interest of the children" said Heather Gobbin 19, mother of young Josh. Heather says she pays $945.00 a month to ensure that her child's interest is top priority and by not letting her little boy hear her say, "Aww tartar sauce" in a slurred pitch perfect voice of Spongebob "they" are violating her sacred rights as a parent. The University disagrees insisting that the loud music and more importantly open liquor could have an adverse affect on the younglings. "Kids are going to drink" said Heather, "at least I know they're safe if they're in a field by the C-Train".

The debate is sure to linger on as both sides are in a current deadlock, but young mother Heather is confident that the University will see things her way, "I used to party hard with my parents, and look how I turned out. I'm a first year Engineering student at the University of Calgary".

BSD is usually held outside of the MacEwan Student center but due to construction the event had to be moved.

BSD to be held in a Parking lot.