Student Perks

Being a Student isn't easy. There are a lot of tests, exams, papers, and labs to be met with the utmost skill and dedication, but because of all the hard work and more importantly hard money we put forth to be students of the University of Calgary-- we're offered many perks that the majority of the civillians do not recieve.

Meals, comedy shows, even sporting events typically have options where they provide student discounts, the kind of discounts that rival those of seniors and the military. Because you know, studying Latin for 4 years is the equivalent to raising and carrying a nation for multiple decades, and taking enemy fire in the heart of Afghanistan!

Recently top notch reporter Megan Tron found an interesting perk (and it makes this reporter LOL that such information is so easily found by Megan) that probably went unknown to the vast majority of students at the Univeristy of Calgary; Military and Student porn discounts. That's right! As school is just around the bend, many high quality Porn websites are offering outrageous discount prices on their porn to students in the same fashion that Staples is offering discounted school supplies!

Student Discounts aren't just a great thing for students, they typically provide the companies offering these discounts with increased revenue. "Mommy and Daddy are giving their kids lots of spending money. We've decided to take advantage of this trend and offer some of our best customers like Kris Rupert of your University, a real bargain on their porn needs" says Porn CEO Long Chodan

Just hours after the news of discount porn, a frenzy of students at the U of C student library computer lab occured. Row upon row of computer users had credit card and penis in hand ready to take advantage of lonely milfs and great back to school deals. "Hey I'm going back to school shopping, I need some pens, a couple notebooks, a new laptop maybe... oh and some high quality HD Asian Foot Porn, and I'll get it all for great savings what with my student Discount" says Engineering Student Kristopher Rupert, holding his slightly greasy Student ID card, "Yes, Asian Foot porn".